Alien Agent (2007, Canada)

Alien AgentI cannot call this a low budget science fiction movie, because they had enough money to create one big special effect and a few smaller ones. But the first few minutes certainly set my expectations for one. It starts off showing space and stars with a worrying and worrisome voice narrating the events, telling us how an alien (as in non-terrestrial) race is trying to exploit earth, despite that they also have good guys who try to prevent this action. Next the camera slowly moves up on a woman’s body from behind. She is wearing camouflage, but of course, we pause for a second or two at her round rounds. After a quick and successful hijacking of a military convoy she has a quick chat with one of her underlings. This conversation is so full of made-up jumbo-mambo, I mean scientific jargon, that it sure generates credibility and feeling of a proper science fiction flick. Except it doesn’t, no matter how many times her body is shown or how much alien sounding words they pack in the movie later.

The best part of movie was its scenery and I do not mean the aforementioned butt. The beautiful forest shots, nice hikes in nature, calm lake were all recorded in British Columbia, Canada. Once upon a time I thought that Billy Zane, the actor playing the bad guy will move beyond being a sexy action hero. It’s time to give this hope. I still think he could be a great actor, but taking this kind of role (which apparently he did plenty) will not advance his career the direction I hoped for. Mark Dacascos played the alien hero here to save humanity, is a martial artist with dozens of movies and TV show episodes behind his black belts–of which I have seen none. His acting was wooden, his fighting was driven. Because much of it was gunfight, not hand-to-hand, he could not show off his skills.

To summarize, I found almost everything mediocre in this movie: the budget, the story, the acting. I have seen worse, but much better too. Rent a documentary on the beauty of Northwest US instead to see the greenery of the area. Better yet, if you have the chance, visit it. You may not encounter aliens taking over an abandoned factory and building a portal to their world, but you will encounter trees, bushes, critters and birds worth spending time amongst.